A couple of weeks after being widowed, I searched the net for support groups for widows. I found WidowSpeak, a website dedicated to widows worldwide - a place where 'you can read widows’ stories, see widows in the news and the arts, visit a photo gallery of widows, learn about widows’ projects, and participate in the discourse of widowhood'.
In the beginning, I was hooked. I read the poems written by young widows like me and cried... it was as though I had written them myself... I even wrote to the webmaster for wanting to contribute my story, and they were more than pleased!
Unfortunately, my 'hunger' to be 'comforted' by this support group was not satisfied. With each passing day, I found myself clicking in their website and immediately clicking out. I eventually took myself out of their email list. It was too depressing! The website that is. There was no light or hope offered... just an avenue to share depressing stories (to me at least, I may be wrong - the website may have helped tons of other widows, wallahu'alam).
That's when I decided to blog. Blog about my life as a widow. But what you see now is just a glimpse of the original blog I created and still keep. That blog is available for my eyes only. It is depressing!!! hehe...
Well, the real reason of this post is to say that I have met wonderful widows in the blogsphere since!!! These are widows who write of hope behind the despair; widows who count their blessings behind the adversity; and widows who find strength in Allah, the Almighty.
This post is especially for them. To D, petite and powerful and Lilinbiru, thanks for sharing your stories with the rest of the world and me, of course! Your stories have inspired me!!!
To D and petite and powerful, you two are such great writers!!! D -- your are my source of inspiration, believe it or not, ok? please, just believe it, why don't you :-)
petite and powerful -- please don't stop writing, ok? You have such flair...
Lilinbiru -- your sincere and unpretentious posts have given me the reason to let my own tears flow, especially when I am in denial of my inner feelings for wanting to 'be strong' ...
Thank you, sisters...
12 comments:
A dedicated blog? WOW! Inspiration with flair??? If you could see the expression on my face at the moment, it'll be like Gary Coleman's when he says "Who you talkin about Willis?"
Well, you are most welcome and thank you. I find your blog very heart warming and i visit daily (sometimes twice a day).
dear petite n powerful -- HA HA HA!!! you are so funny!!! that's the other side of you I don't get to see in your blog!! hahaha (tak abis gelak lagi!!)
I am serious about you having a flair for writing -- love the way you put down (or rather type away) your thoughts!! Keep on writing, k? Can I expect to see an entry today??? ;-)
myheartbleeds dearest,
I can't agree with you more. sharing bereavement with the westerns is kinda different - quite depressing. I guess the main difference is in the faith we have. With ours, it's just simply wrong to wallow ourselves day in day out (though we sometimes get caught in it!!). How can we, when we soooo believe that Allah loves us to no end? Why should we torture ourselves in depression? HeHe... Having said that (after just sobbing away watching Unbreakable by westlife for the umpteenth time), we are only humans!
Thank you dear, for your kind words. I admire you for the very vivid love you are holding on to. I too, keep the love close to my heart, but try not to let it bring me down because it is meant to be for the best. Wallahu'alam.
Hugs!
ps: we should keep on holding hands yeah? one day, we will meet, insya Allah
dearest akak, thanks for putting mine in ur list.i read yours, daily...hoping to find similarities and comfort in your words...which i did. thanks.
yeay!!! all the sistas have spoken!!! ;-)
d dearest -- yes, let's keep on holding hands and I wud lurrvve to meet you, insya Allah
p/s: Unbreakable by Westlife? Now, I'll listen more closely to the lyrics when I hear it on the radio... :-)
lilinbiru -- you're welcome. Betul ke you find comfort in my words??? Alhamdulillah if you do, I think I merapu most of the time.
I know you read petite n powerful and by now I hope you've read d's pausetoreflect. These are where the real good stuff are!!!
Hi there,
I read your blog and can't help feeling sad for some reason. Anyway, may I know what had caused your hubby's sudden departure?
all the cars in the world -- thanks for dropping by. My hubby's sudden death was due to a heart attack or extensive acute myocardial infarction. I rushed him to the hospital at 4.20am and he passed on less than 4 hours later... he was a good, good man.
hi. a friend who works in a client's office told me about the pausetoreflect blog. she is an avid reader. i think she knows D personally. the first time i read that blog, i noticed that there was a link to yours :-)
i must say, you yourself write very well. yes, the flair! the flair!
if your visitor counter can trackback your blog readers, you'd probably see i check this blog almost everyday - at the office and from home :-D
*hugsssss*
efs -- I enjoy reading your blog too!!! Yours is so colorful and you have so many things to blog about :-) And I love your magnets collection too... I like to collect them as well, but mine is probably just 1/10 of yours!!! hehe... keep it up!
I read D's blog from Abang Idham.. gosh I cried reading her entry when her hubby passed away. I tak ingat mcm mana I bleh baca your blog plak, I think sbb you left a comment on my blog kut, then I start baca your blog and I'm hooked. And you plak keje dlm TPM jugak :). D and you are two of the strongest women. Keep on writing ok?
hi amy -- thanks for being one of my readers... of kisah seorang balu ni... ;-) Doakanlah for me to be strong... am just a weak human being yang sometimes terus 'lembik' dengan dugaanNya...
Have you started your new job? belum kot sbb no posting on that on your blog... I will stay tuned, that's for sure :-)
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