When the going gets tough...

Had a rough day at work yesterday. As much as I tell myself that work ain't everything; it's diffcult not to get affected. Been convincing myself this morning that there are so many other aspects of my life that has more substance and are more important in my life. But I can't help it when I spend 9 hours at work everyday.

Yeah, I know...this is just part and parcel of working life. Everything has its ups and downs, right? I guess what I'm missing is that someone to talk to at the end of a hard day at work. Someone to tell me that everything is going to be alright, someone who actually appreciates me. I need to hear these sweet words.

Well, I certainly do not want to be ungrateful. Alhamdulillah, there are many things that I am thankful for. Hiccups happen. I need to move on. The cookie must not crumble.

and you would've been 41!

we last celebrated your birthday on August 3, 2006. that was FIVE years ago! stay young, my love... miss you lots! Al-Fatihah

21 Feb 2007 - 21 Feb 2011

Today marks four years of your passing. In my heart I know that you're doing alright for He is looking after you. May you rest in peace and be blessed with His Rahmah in barzakh and in the ever-after. Ameen.

You are missed. Always.

Epilogue

After 2 years, 2 months and 2 weeks later, it is time for me to conclude My Monologues.

I have met some very wonderful people here, we shared stories... good, happy, and of course sad ones too. I even shared my most intimate feelings here and you had always been generous with your words of comfort.

I cherish each and every comment made, jokes shared, compliments rendered. Thank you for your friendship!!

To my silent readers who have logged in day-in and day-out even when I've left this blog idle for the last month or so, thank you for taking the trouble to check on me!! (thanks to the site meter I know where you're logging from and how often you come here :)

Thank you and God bless all of you.

Our dearly beloved

Beloved husband and father

3 Aug 1970 ~ 21 Feb 2007

1095 days of missing you.

May you find the ultimate happiness in paradise. Ameen.

Al-Fatihah

My first hantaran cake

I'm pretty pleased that I pulled off my first hantaran cake. The design is simple je... the flowers on top were designed to cover any flaws... but stretchmarks appeared everywhere except the top where it was going to be covered!! thankfully remembered a tip/trick told by fellow baker... to gently rub shortening on the marks.. and it works!!

alhamdulillah... i am happy

i refrained from writing about this as i just wanted to let it be. but i guess i succumbed to my own thoughts. am always one who is weak when it comes to self-control anyways.

had a long chat with a colleague yesterday. she was also his ex-colleague. she told me to stop berkabung. she said i've berkabung (mourned) long enough and time for me to move on. go out have fun, she said.

this and that

I have no plans whatsoever this CNY break. Purposely did not make any plans to go out of town since we know its going to be crazy out there on the highways, hence we went for our family holiday two weekends ago during the FT holiday.

Nak buat apa ye?? Terlintas jugak di hati this could be the weekend to start my exercise regime :) yelah..dah free, kan? the recreation park in surrounding neighbourhood pun dok memanggil manggil... but awat I ni dok degil?? :)

Anyways, this morning main masak-masak... Misha bought a cute Minnie teaset during our hols in HK last December and I had wanted to try the heart-shaped pancake/egg ring from Daiso so that's what we did... and had for breakfast.

Kids went out after breakfast with my cousin who wanted to get belated pressie for Misha... I am planning to clean the kitchen drawers and cabinets... now just how many spatulas do I need? planning to give extras away...

Ice-cream tubs, plastic cake knifes, bottles and bottles of plastic, leftover biskut raya (yes!! ada lagiii).. they gotta go!!

I should mention that maid is extending her contract!! alhamdulillah... she's into her fourth year and had been divided between staying and going home. Finally berjaya to pujuk her to stay at least until Dec... with a RM100 pay raise. I think she gets paid quite handsomely for the amount of work she needs to do... yelah, anak i dua orang je... dah besar... rumah cute miut... on weekdays we leave the house at 7.15am and the girls don't come back until 5pm... pendek kata kerja senanglah!! i'm just glad she's staying coz you know the risk involved in getting a new maid... tak payahlah i nak citer panjang lebar... almaklumlah!! talking bout maids, my heart goes out to this sista!! :(

also, this CNY holiday ada kisah tersendiri jugak... it was three years ago on CNY break that we had spent our last weekend with our beloved. cuti panjang sat-tues and he left morning of wed, on the first day of work after the long break. i try not to think about it too much, try to numb this heart and not give in to my emotions... but yes, i miss him and think about him everyday. at the end of a bad day, i need that someone who looks into my eyes and tell me, "it's gonna be okay".. and I'd totally believe him. i need that pat on the back, the fingers that runs through my hair when i feel helpless like a little child... hmmmmm... alhamdulillah He's been good to me... and I shan't complain. I do think that i am tougher now, emotionally... more redha with whatever that comes my way... more accepting of the ways of the world and the people in it.... I digress!!!

Well, I better go clean that kitchen now!!! have a good break, y'all!!

Happy New Year!!

Cuti lagiiiiii!! But hey, I'm not complaining!!

click here for photo credit

My first time doing CNY-themed cupcakes... a box for a classy lady and another for a typical Chinaman. I was given the freedom as for the theme, so found inspiration from pretty pink and white cherry blossoms. The background was turquoise, supposed to represent the sky... asked a Chinese colleague if cherry blossoms were ok... whether got pantang or not... coz just the other day when had our CNY e-greeting published with a picture of a tiger, she commented to have it removed as apparently only businesses in trouble/ailing are supposed to show the tiger. If your biz is thriving don't show the tiger!! now, did you know that?? :)

But last night AFTER i had done up the box of cherry blossoms, received sms from client NOT to have anything in white - pantang!! as it represents death!! huh?? there was no way i was going to do it up again.. habis kuat replace the white flowers with all pink... but tak lawalah!! so, smsed colleague again and she said should be ok. legaaaa...

but because of that comment, i decided to just go all Chinaman with the next box. Put aside all my preferences and change mindset to Pua Chu Kang mode!! haha... so here goes!!

Happy New Year, y'all!!

Friends Who Bake

I wrote about getting a group together to take on a baking quest and now it's taking shape!! (wish could say the same bout my figure haha)...

We started a blog, my friend J and I, where we would post our bakes for the week and also post links to fellow baker's bake of the week from their blog. Fellow blogging bakers are now part of the group, i.e Kitchen Guardian and Shahieda. Glad to have you be a part of Friends Who Bake!!

We would love to have any of you out there join us too... something to do on a free weekend, and definitely not meant to be added stress!! Email us at friendswhobake@gmail.com. In the meantime, check out our blog!!