My turn pulak to do the tag by wanshana (sorry lambat sikit, ok... but I know Puan Pensyarah tak kisah, kan... Puan Pensyarah pun tengah bersukaria bercuti bersama keluarga tercinta, sure tak de time nak mark assignments, kan?) :-)
Actually this tag is quite timely considering it is the end of the year - both the Hijri calendar as well as the Gregorian calendar... in other words, time to reflect la...
However, I'll do that in another entry (maybe)... this one's just for fun (and a lil' nostalgic for me)
So here goes in no particular order…
- I am still trying to figure out who I am. I mean, my higher purpose in life – what I was sent here for….
- I hate my nose… haha… well, I guess I don’t hate it now as much as I did when I was a young girl. You can say I dah redha (to quote ms hart)… heheh. But seriously, I truly hated that feature on my face!! It is very ‘fleshy’… in other words, kembang semangkuk!! I got it from dear dad… but it looks so much better on a man with such a strong personality like him than on a shy little girl!! Everytime I meet my parents’ friends/relatives for the first time, they’d tell me… ikut rupa bapak dia… and I KNOW what they were referring to!!Oh no!! But I’ve come to terms with it now… Alhamdulillah… dengan hidung ni lah jugak dapat bernafas dan menghirup udara segar… eheheh
- I once fell really really ill yang couldn’t even open my eyelids – it was spring break 1995. There was a flu outbreak on campus days before spring break. I was staying at the dorms at that time. Spring break came and all dorm residents went back to their hometowns leaving me all alone on my floor. A friend who lived off-campus decided I’d be better off staying at her place. She came to pick me up in the afternoon and I was soooo weak, I crawled down the stairs!! Tak tipu, ok?? Sampai rumah dia, I slept and only woke up 48 hours later… tak bangun2, tak makan2… percaya tak?? There's a funny incident that went along with me being sick -- a couple of hours before my friend came to pick me up, I was on the phone with then boyfriend (later hubby – he graduated a year earlier and was working back home). Bila dah demam-demam tu nak ler manja sikit kan… so we were on the phone for quite a bit… then he told me to put the phone down la sebab nanti sakit pulak nak bayar AT&T… I ni merajuk la pulak… cakap kat dia, I yang nak bayar… bukannya collect call… last last we put down the phone laa… but dia tau la I ni merajuk. I guess I passed out after that until my friend came to pick me up. Two days later, when I got back, my answering machine sampai habis satu tape with, “I am so sorry… please pick up the phone..”, “I’m so sorry… please talk to me…”, “Please pick up the phone… I need to hear your voice bla bla bla..” hahaha… kelakar gile… so I called him and said, I sakit laa… why you so dramatic?? Hehe. Kesian… all the while he was thinking I was merajuking gila2… I was actually asleep and not thinking about him at all!!
- Lagi cerita nostalgia – I once totaled my car in an accident, also in 1995. I still have the scar to show for it. Was driving on the highway and out of nowhere, a car passed through and as I was speeding, I hit the car and made a 360 degrees turn!! It happened in a split second and all I remembered was, suddenly I was looking down on my lap and I saw blooddddd!! Then I looked up the mirror and saw blood on my forehead!! I must’ve hit my head on the steering wheel while the car was turning – and the wound was along my hairline. Apa lagi, menjerittttt la!! People quickly pulled their car over and offered assistance. I still remember this – it was an afternoon in fall and a young couple came with blankets they took from their carboot… immediately after, the paramedics came. I was put on a stretcher and that was when I started crying, thinking…. this must be serious, man… I am on a stretcher bagai and they put the white collar thingy around my neck… yang menyayat hati nya, right before we left the site in the ambulance, I heard people fussing over the stuff in my car … then the paramedic guy (I still remember how he looked like – blondie with longish hair) came in and showed me a ring they found on the floor of the front passenger’s seat of my car – “is this yours?”.. I said yes… and he put the ring on my finger – I was wearing that ring boyfriend gave me two summers before – it must’ve tercampak during the accident!! You know why yang sedih sangat?? Because just the day before when I was chatting on the net with boyfriend… I, girlfriend yang ngada2 ni tanya ler benda2 yang trivial… alah you know, yang kalau jawab A pun merajuk, jawab B pun merajuk… hahaha. So when he told me something yang I rasa macam dia bagi jawapan untuk memuaskan hati I… I told him, “ok… kalau you tipu, esok I accident”… tak saying mulut, kan… honestly… I can’t remember what the silly Q&A was – that was how trivial it was!! But yeah… be careful what you wish for!!
- I ni bukanlah orang yang banyak cakap sangat, but sometimes when I start, I can’t stop… i.e baru # 5 tapi dah panjang giles dah yang I type… anyone still reading ke tu?? Yoo hoo!! Anybody home?? :o)
- My dad was 53 years old when I was born and by the time I was in school, he was already an old man with platinum hair. Friends used to ask me if he was my grandpa!! I was very much aware of how old he was… so each time I pass by his room when he’s taking a nap (the door would always be open) I’d pause for a few minutes to see if his tummy was going up and down or not. Once satisfied, I’d walk by… You could say I was afraid he’d die coz he was old. Syukur, my dad lived until he was 84 and saw both my girls being brought in this world. Ironically, I married a guy only 2 years older than me… he was 28 when our first-born came to this world, but Allah Maha Mengetahui…ajal datang tak mengira usia…
- Tiap-tiap malam I tidur bersempit-sempit on my Queen-sized bed with the two girls… they have refused to sleep in their own room ever since their daddy passed away.
- I can’t believe I baru at #8!! Ok. I’ll make the rest short and sweet!!
- I ni jenis ketegaq (degil) and sometimes keras hati, tho’ cepat tersentuh, emotional and sensitip. Dual personality!!
- I am very the lazy at beauty maintenance – you know how some people have different types of creams for different body parts – I just can’t be bothered!! I still have lotions from 2002 in my bathroom cabinet yang beli tapi tak pakai2!!
- I have recurring dreams about my late hubby. I miss him dearly.
- I used to pray that God would reunite me and my best friend in heaven, but I now find myself praying for him to be elevated in Firdaus, tak kisahlah if I’m with him or not. In heaven, everyone is happy. He deserves to be happy with or without me. I redha if he's there with some bidadari syurga and not me. Again, Allah Maha Mengetahui.
- Back to #11. I miss my best friend dearly. He was my soulmate, my confidante. I have so many things bottled up inside of me, my heart feels like its going to burst sometimes.
- I was one of Female Magazine’s 50 Most Gorgeous in 2003 (despite the nose!! hahaha)… tak taulah macamana boleh terpilih… bet the editorial team nyesal tak sudah after the mag went on the newsstands hehe
- I sometimes takut nak tulis benda2 yang sangat emotional on my blog for fear readers would think I nak mintak simpati etc… sebenarnya jauh sekali... I know I am fortunate in many ways. Sometimes I write just to document my feelings at a certain time -- to humble myself when I re-read it later. I started the blog as an outlet to write my inner feelings or even benda2 trivial yang membosankan – hence the title My Monologues, but somehow ada pulak yang sudi membacanya (thank you!!)… alhamdulillah, I’ve received only positive moral support from all of you… but yeah… I still try to pick my words carefully.
- I am still married.
So there... :-)
