“Widowhood is a state of being and coping in the beginning. Then, if you're lucky and smart, it fades into another facet of life.”
- Sally Swift -
I think I have reached a stage in my widowhood where I have totally accepted the realities of being a widow (which includes raising my kids alone without their father, being the sole bread-winner, sending the car to the mechanics for a service myself, doing my own taxes, lifting the heavy groceries from the supermarket alone etc).
If I may say so, I think I dah betul-betul redha. No more asking myself ‘what if’ questions (honestly, still do sometimes but quickly ignore the thought) and no more pondering long and hard about 'the life’ I will never get to live (will quickly snap myself out of it if the mind ever wonders ‘there’). I am done feeling sorry for myself!!
Sure, being a woman that I am (and a Scorpio too!! – deeply emotional and emotionally complex), I have my P-M-Sy days where I feel that the whole world is against me, but I tell myself, I have the same sort of feelings even before I was widowed, so live with it!!
I am… venturing into another facet of life. Yup, just now. After being a widow for 590 days.
I am… moving on.
God, help me.
