Some weekends ago, the girls and I had KFC for lunch in Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman after ikut mommy jalan-jalan cari tudung.
I remembered (and will always remember) an incident in KFC about a year ago. I had just completed my period of iddah and took the girls out for an outing at a mall. We had lunch at KFC.
While the girls sat down at the table with the maid, mommy placed our orders at the counter and came back with chicken, fries, coleslaw (Misha's fav) and the drinks. Totally forgotten about the buns Maira wanted.
A while later after we started eating, Maira said something very very softly... "Mommy, buns tu mahal ke...?"
Ya Allah... nak meleleh air mata!!!
You know why she said that? It's because after their daddy passed, I had a small conversation with the girls on how things are going to be for us. And in it, I did mention to them that mommy will be the sole bread winner for all of us and mommy's salary is 'ciput' compared to daddy's and that we may have to somewhat change our lifestyle slightly.
And because of that, Maira must've felt that I was probably trying to 'save' money by not getting the buns!!! My poor girl!!!
Right after I heard that, I quickly got up without saying a word and got her 'em buns!!!
And, though shopping for clothes wasn't in our plan, we went over to Girls after lunch and I got them each a new t-shirt without them asking for it (my way of overcoming my own guilt).
I tell you, I felt really bad for Maira and I hope whatever statement I made about us being 'poor' now that daddy's gone will not seriously affect her and how she looks at life.
I hope it won't make her feel and think that she can't do or achieve certain things in life just because daddy's not around. If I were to only have one wish for them, it would be that whatever happens, they should follow their dreams and that dreams are not impossible!
Maira will be nine next month, which means I will be celebrating my ninth year as a mother!
But being a single parent is totally something else.
And I'm learning something new everyday.
14 comments:
That's the spirit! *hugs* you know what, I might not have the chance to become a mother to understand your situation but you make me feel that if I have the rezeki to become a mother, I wanna be like you! :)
myheartbleeds, must I tell you again - it's mothers like YOU who motivate mothers like me!! hug, hug..
And yea, I've had that guilty feelings too, y'know. I pun selalu psycho the kids about being 'golongan sederhana' bla bla bla and bila anak tanya, 'Pizza tu berapa ringgit? Mahal tak? Sebab Amal rasa nak makan lah..' dengan muka sungguhlah kesian, waa aaa aaa...tak sampai hati,kan? Kesian...I felt so bad!!!
ooopss...sorry, forgot to brag here ...I too can read that Cmabrigde spelling thingy, y'know!!! ha ha ha...some peole are sooo kiasu, eh? ha ha ha...interesting posting, there!!
hi there...awww...my eyes filled with tears while reading ur post...u are such a good mom...am not sure how can i cope with such situation...sure the KFC will be flooded with my tears..*sigh..*big hugssss to you...
and see? how kids understand mommy's feelings...sometimes, when we said something to 'em, they will just nod..(sign of agreement, i guess)..n it will stick in their mind forever..
take care....
You are one strong woman, and I believe in you.
amy -- insya-Allah, I doakan you murah rezeki... ameen.
You sure you wanna be like me??? don't be!!! You can do much better!!! heheh...Just like all us women out there, I am just doing my best, you know... manouvering my way in HIS world.
ms hart -- the credit goes out to my girls for putting up with a crazy mom like me!!!
Oh... hahah... I gelak besar bila baca bout your girl and pizza... these kids... they can drive you up the wall one moment and then go break your heart with comments like that!! Don't you just love 'em for it??
On the Cmabrigde Uinervtisy tset, so gald I am freidns wtih scuh sarmt poelpe lkie you!!!
ladydi -- yup, kids understand... sometimes beyond what we parents think they do...
Thanks for the huggy hugs... :-)
efs -- thanks for believing in me!! Your short but meaningful statement made me cry!!!
akak, tak tau nak nangis ke nak gelak baca entry ni.my kids pun selalu buat ayat cam tu..into sure "mommy, kalau mommy byk duit nanti...bla..bla..bla"
haha.and kids will always be kids.
lilinbiru -- kids!!! blessed with innocence, their most unexpected remarks can either make you cry or roll out laughing on the floor!!!
oh dear... my experience is slightly on a different tangent here. In terms of financial status, the past year was rather tough on us but since my late husband's passing, somehow, our rezeki has been in abundance, Alhamdulillah. Still, I have to keep reminding the children of the importance of money (with occasional splashes here and there to cover guilt and pity to them of course!).
d -- alhamdulillah, am glad for you and the Fab 4. As for us, the rezeki is there, alhamdulillah too, tak baik if I tak bersyukur... HE has been very kind to us...
Same here with the occasional splashes!!!
myheartbleeds: kids are like that - very innocently concerned, diplomatic and sincere. jus the other day my eldest said to me, "Mommy, I have so much money in my purse, so why don't you take and use it since you need it more than I do. I don't use the money anyway". I was really touched at such sincere generosity. The $ she was talking about are her collection of 1, 10 and 20 sen coins. :D
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