Some weekends ago, the girls and I had KFC for lunch in Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman after ikut mommy jalan-jalan cari tudung.
I remembered (and will always remember) an incident in KFC about a year ago. I had just completed my period of iddah and took the girls out for an outing at a mall. We had lunch at KFC.
While the girls sat down at the table with the maid, mommy placed our orders at the counter and came back with chicken, fries, coleslaw (Misha's fav) and the drinks. Totally forgotten about the buns Maira wanted.
A while later after we started eating, Maira said something very very softly... "Mommy, buns tu mahal ke...?"
Ya Allah... nak meleleh air mata!!!
You know why she said that? It's because after their daddy passed, I had a small conversation with the girls on how things are going to be for us. And in it, I did mention to them that mommy will be the sole bread winner for all of us and mommy's salary is 'ciput' compared to daddy's and that we may have to somewhat change our lifestyle slightly.
And because of that, Maira must've felt that I was probably trying to 'save' money by not getting the buns!!! My poor girl!!!
Right after I heard that, I quickly got up without saying a word and got her 'em buns!!!
And, though shopping for clothes wasn't in our plan, we went over to Girls after lunch and I got them each a new t-shirt without them asking for it (my way of overcoming my own guilt).
I tell you, I felt really bad for Maira and I hope whatever statement I made about us being 'poor' now that daddy's gone will not seriously affect her and how she looks at life.
I hope it won't make her feel and think that she can't do or achieve certain things in life just because daddy's not around. If I were to only have one wish for them, it would be that whatever happens, they should follow their dreams and that dreams are not impossible!
Maira will be nine next month, which means I will be celebrating my ninth year as a mother!
But being a single parent is totally something else.
And I'm learning something new everyday.
