I had just finished reading The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. Bought the book this morning and couldn’t put it down. The book was written by Randy Pausch (book published in April this year and Pausch succumbed to cancer three months later), a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon University who had pancreatic cancer.
The book was written together with a co-author after his talk “Really Achieving your Childhood Dreams”. The talk, which Pausch gave in September last year was modeled after a series of lectures retiring professors needed to give to “impart knowledge and wisdom to the world if you knew it was your last chance". Pausch gave the talk a month after receiving prognosis that the pancreatic cancer with which he had been diagnosed a year earlier was terminal.
I couldn’t put the book down because the book wasn’t about dying. It was about LIVING. What was most attractive about the book to me was his optimistic ways in looking at life. Instead of feeling sorry for himself (which is so easy to do and understandably so), he found a way to recollect his life and sum it up in a lecture and later in a book).
“I won’t be around to guide my kids through their childhood into adulthood and hopefully the book will do that on my behalf,” he said. The book talks about Pausch’s professional and personal experiences laced with anecdotes and analogies in life (I am a sucker for that!)
Ok, enough about the book (those interested can surely get a copy themselves – no need for me to give a full summary here!).
But the book got me seriously thinking: how will I guide my girls through life – from childhood, into adulthood. How do I prepare my children to face the uncertainties in life. How I raise them will surely shape their perspective on life – am I doing it right?? Will I be able to give them the opportunities they deserve and will they be proud and thankful for the decisions I helped made for them??
I guess these are the questions that run through the thoughts of every parent out there. Every word uttered, every action we do will leave a trace in their lives (hopefully the positive words and actions will imprint a significant mark and the negative ones will not blemish them so much).
The book also made me think of ways to help my girls think outside the ordinary to get an added edge in life. “Pancakes doesn’t always have to be round,” said Pausch in his book. Ok, I must confess that as much as I’d like to think that I am a person open to ideas and ideals, I am deep down a conservative kind of gal, being raised by old school parents. I play safe. I don’t seek adventure that much (though I don’t always play by the rules).
(to be continued…)
On another note
I tried to ignore it, but I just have to write it down here, laa....
When I mentioned on this blog that I am moving on, it had created a deformed perspective on what I had meant to some.
Some took my statement of 'moving on' as a declaration of my readiness to be 'back in the saddle again'... oh, you know what I mean.
I just want to make it extremely clear that no other words or gesture would hurt or insult me more than those 'friendly' hints about getting a new... oh, I can't even say it on here... it makes me want to throw up!!
I AM moving on.... with two very important people in my life -- my girls. End of story.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
The road ahead (part II) : Ramblings
Posted by MHB at Sunday, October 19, 2008
Labels: life's journey, personal thoughts
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16 comments:
Hello,
I found your blog because of your reference to Randy Pausch and pancreatic cancer. My husband, best friend, and soulmate died from pancreatic cancer this past June. I really identify with your comment about not wanting "a new..." Before my husband died, I was his wife. Now that he is dead, I am his widow, but I am still his! I plan to keep it that way because I know I will eventually join him when our Creator brings me home.
Thank you for your blog. It is comforting to know there are others who think as I do.
salam, only you will know what you want, and you do have the very importang people in your life. You've been very strong and such a comfort to others.
Take care of yourself and your precious ones.
yes, that's a book worth reading - I picked it up after Raden Galoh recommended it. I think it contributed to her being so positive and full of life!
on the other note: you listen to me... mulut tempayan boleh ditutup, tapi mulut manusia - mau kena stapler ada la!!! hence, to deal with it, this is how I try to put things in perspective: ignorance is bliss - some people are just damn thick! so, forgive this insensitive (and, if I may say, foolish) person. forgive and try to forget.
don't let anyone or anything spoil your day. NEVER!
hugs from england..
usa sister -- hello there...
Firstly, I am so so sorry for your very recent loss. I can only hope and pray that our Creator gives you strength as you embark on this journey called widowhood.
I guess we do think alike. Few people understand when I say that I still consider myself married, as we never got a divorce. God-willing, we will be together again someday.
You must be where I am more than a year ago... I won't tell you to 'be strong' as I find it too cliched. I know you'll be ok somehow. Take care and you have a friend in me.
kak teh -- thanks, kak teh... I know people mean well and they'd like to see me 'happy'... maybe not the conventional 'happy', but I have found my happiness in HIS other abundant bounties, alhamdulillah...
d -- ha ha ha... I wasn't really really upset sampai it spoilt my day when that person (2 people actually) hinted at that... just BOSANNNNN...
memang insensitive pon... and bila orang still insensitive after I make my point, I just roll my eyes at them lah!! Tak kosa!!
Salam... Byk2 b'sabar my dear fren... Org di sekeliling mmg x akan b'henti melahirkan apa yg t'lintas di hati diorg & aku juga pasti x t'kecuali... Anyway, seikhlasnya drpd aku, b'fikir & b'buatlah apa yg suit u best... Smoga ALLAH SWT senantiasa b'sama kita smua, insya-Allah...
azizati -- alhamdulillah... I can still bersabar bab2 ni... I know few people can understand and it's really not their fault if they don't. I just have to sabar je lah... thanks for the du'a!!
Oh MHB, my thoughts of you moving on would be, tearing out the sad cocoon and weaving a tailor made one, designed especially for the girls and you. Previously, the cocoon fit the four of you, which is too big now. You need to make yourself one that fits the three of you snugly. That is what I thought of when you mentioned moving on.
You are a good weaver MHB, I just know it.
akak..yeah..mulut org mmg x bleh tutup.some ppl just dont get it when we say moving on. anyway, i wish, we all will stay strong for our girls
Wiz -- thank you... you alWIZ know the right things to say ;-)
btw, those who have left their comments on this blog (not just this entry) have been very very supportive and I thank you all...
lilinbiru -- you get these things too, huh?? Well, I guess its inevitable... we just ignore it lah, kan...
and though I must say that hati ni terguris gak over their insensitivity, I maafkan they all... I know they want me to be 'happy'. But we can be happy just the way we are, right? Tak kisahlah however pun...
Hi MyHeartBleeds,
Lama tak dengar khabar :)
Hmmhh... sometimes people meant well, cuma they don't know that they actually 'clicked' on the sensitive 'button'.
So, let them be. Only you know what's best for you.
Take care, & oh, Selamat Hari Raya (Hope it's not too late) :)
dalam dakapan ibu -- hello sis!!
yes, I know they mean well, and usually after I feel irritated, I calm down and let it go...
I just wanted to write it on this blog so that its clear what I want...
Masih bulan Syawal lagi ni... Selamat Hari Raya to you too!!
assalamualaikum w.b.t
hi..been silent reading your blog for a few m0nths now..this entry just begging for my comment bcus of s sama x serupa scenario:)..u c, my mom passed away 8 years ago n the ever faymes question to my dad n d children:dah ada yang ganti ke??n it freaks all of us..xde benda lain ke yg nak d tanya.n i'm really glad dat my dad choose to honour the 30years marriage.n now, after 8 years, we still talk about my mom everyday. so i guess wut i'm trying to say is to heck with this insensitive people n live ur life for the children..i've been reading urs n pause to reflect blog n i tink u both r strong women..
cheerio0s n hav a nice day wit ur famili..
miss fb -- yeah, sometimes I think, all these people yang tanya soalan tak berfaedah ni... cuba this thing happened to them and orang lain tanya they all... tengok terguris ke tak hati tu...
anyways, i try to be patient la coz I dah redha and I now believe that yeah, this happened to me bcoz HE knows I can handle it... that HE won't burden me with a load I can't bear... sabo ye lah... the questions are part of 'the deal' I suppose...
Wow!! 30 years?? I sempat celebrate our 9th wedding anniversary je (but 13 years together)... tak de rezki together in THIS world, but God-willing in the next, insya-Allah...Ameen.
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