Penang & Pictures...

I have to be in Penang this weekend for work.

A colleague asked, "You'll be taking your kids with you like last time?"... No lah... am too tired to drive. Plus, their Tok Mama (my late MIL) is no longer around for us to visit. What fun could it be staying with the maid in the hotel room when mommy is attending to her work someplace else.

I do, however would like to visit Mak's house and maybe take home some old photos of hubby.

When hubby passed last year, my SIL told my MIL to give me all of his old photos for keeps, but I told Mak to keep them first. I felt it was not the right time for me to do that. Those are her photos of her son. Not mine. Tak sampai hati to do that at that time. Dah la ambik anak dia bila kahwin, and now after he's gone nak ambik her photos of him pulak... it just didn't feel right. Plus I have many many photos of him, us and the kids as well as videos to look at bila rindu.

But now, Mak pun dah tak ada... nobody stays in that house anymore though BIL goes over occasionally to tengok-tengokkan. I think it would be right for me to have those photos to keep now... and pass them over to our children when I'm gone...

I have yet to inform my BIL in Penang about my plan. My BIL is a 54-year-old divorcee who was Mak's best friend. Though they stayed separately, he would go over to Mak's every night and they would have dinner together. He was devastated when Mak left. According to SIL, dia meraung after Mak took her last breath...

Now how do I call him and tell him that I want to go over to Mak's house and get those pictures? I know he would be ok with me wanting those pictures... but it will mean that he would have to go over to that house again... and I don't think I want to see him so sad... tak sampai hati!!! The truth is, maybe I myself am not too sure if I am prepared to go through it... be in that house again... all empty now... and look at the pictures which all of us used to look at together...

We'll see...